Please come to my dream again

It is the 86th day since papa left us. Another weekend we'll be heading back to Kuantan for his 100th day. Time flies, "is almost 3 month since papa left us", sis suddenly said while she's ironing her clothe while I concentrating on my freelance. We had a silent moment, assuming she will think that I was occupied and ignored her conversation.

There are lots of memories flashing in my mind while talking over the phone with my mom. As she is busy preparing for the 100th day, she told me stories and stuff that she bought for my dad. My cousin chose some nice clothes, my mom bought some pants, a LV bag, napkins, socks, money... and a lot more. She's good at conversation by digging memories, and she sounds alright. Lucky with her cheerful nature, she makes me feel pleasant with the sweet memories of what my dad like, without flashing back the heart breaking memory of last day accompanying my dad in the hospital. For the first two months after he left, it hurts me so much to always miss him in a tiny and aching soul laying in the ward, as I know I will never be able to feel how much he's been enduring. Somehow the night I went back home last two week, I dreamt him coming home with a van. I ran towards him to the door like what I did always when he came back working in the jungles for weeks, and I can feel him hugging me so tight. Blissful moment, which now and then this happy scene will appear every time I miss him. I know he always take care of us even though he is not around, he know I'm suffering from the terrible moment of losing him that night in the hospital, and that's why he came to my dream. Thank you so much, I miss you, and I love you, Papa~ =")

永远爱你

我依然嬉皮笑脸，我依然勤奋工作，依然上网玩面子书，依然过着和平日没差的生活。。。
如果你听见，我只想告诉你我们都很好，适应着你的离开。。。

如果你到了天国，遇见佛祖，就跟随他去吧，听说那里是脱离痛苦尘埃的极乐，你到那就不会痛了。即使我们万般不舍得你离开，我们也惟有放手，实在没别办法再看见你被折腾。所以不用牵挂我们，会好好照顾妈，好好照顾我们自己。万一有哪天你经过家门看见谁偷偷在被里哭，不要担心也不要牵挂，只因你曾经是他们敬爱的守护者，也会是永远深爱的男人。爸，你安息吧！永远爱你~

A precious gift

Guess what is at the back??? =D

Though it may not be the most beautiful, but it's the most precious gift I'd received from Felicia, a cute kid from my working place.



坦然

最近看了一部台湾剧，有句对白让我影响深刻。“没有等待，也没有准备”。杨丞琳是指的是爱情，可是我心酸了一下，想的却是那天老板问我有将心情准备了没。问起爸的病情，问起我们家人准备了没，我愣了一下，没想到他如此直接，心理和嘴里都说 not really actually。虽然他常安抚我们要坦然面对，可是我真还没将情绪准备好。我期待的是和他一起坐轮船，我期待的是让他再次看见我戴四方帽。我能坦然的能力，想应该就是没有等待，也没有准备的心情吧！

Brave and Positive

It has been 3 months I din't update my blog. Such a long time, am I such busy? I wonder...

Just reading the backlog of my dear friend updates on his recent life. Life turned out to be unexpected. But the 3 months time did give some space for the transitions. From feeling sucks.. to have accepted and keep on going...

Brave and positive, my dear friend...

Yesterday I was in Old Town meeting friends and having some chit chat. Got to know everyone gradually starts working, or have been working for quite some months ever since coming out from college. Joining the industry and working as an official employee is different from a trainee. Commitment, responsibility and accountability. They won't go far from every freshie who join their very first placement in the real working life. They are heavy, and some may feel it heavier, and some have already feel it at the extreme end of taking all the unexpected heavy loads of commitment and responsibilities bosses throw on them. After all, if I think I'm at the extreme end, then I may now quietly shift to the mild level. OT till 10pm is still not the worst, they are people who works harder than me, yet they are taking it positively, why can't me?

Brave and positive, again, my dear friends...

1 month earlier my dad wasn't feeling so good after the treatment stopped for quite some time. I know he felt terrible from the wary face and tiny body. He was hospitalised last week, extracting accumulated 'water' from his heart. He is painful, so do I. I feel like crying if I were able to have some free hours, even during the few minutes coffee break I grant myself for continuous working on the desk. Yet my dad is enduring it with patience, gave words of hope every time we went home...

Brave and positive, my dearest papa...

After all, I have shifted from the deadly end of darkness and gradually see lights in my life... all because of you all.. thank you~

I ♥ Paris

Feeling extremely great to experience 2 spectaculars events at 2 different countries at the same day.

During daytime at Lake Geneva, Jet D'Eau shows its magnifcant performance under the cool breezy weather. We are luckly enough to watch the 500 litres of water jetted at altitude of 140m by water pumps sited down the lake. Lucky, because it doesn't has a fix time for this show, but we're able to watch it at this right timing.

After dinner, the driver drove us to the Paris city centre and have a good sightseeing of its night view. It is truly really amazing. Histories and modernities under the illumination is one of the arts which answers why many poets, stage writers and celebrities choose this place for inspirations. Passing through the Louis Vuitton headquaters earns the loudest roam in the bus, but something just ahead the road catched me - the Arc de Triomphe, probably because of its familiarity as one of my wooden miniature collections at home XD！The real spectacular view was the 9pm light show at Eiffel Tower. This event earns applauses and a big waoh not only from the bus members, but the whole people who waited there to watch it. It is really really really a magnificent and romantic moment. No wonder some couples put down their cameras, grabs and huddles close to treasure this precious moment with their love one. This special lighting lasts for about 5 minutes, and luckly enough to take a short clip with my hp camera. Though the effect of this clip is not nice, hope it does give a motivation for all of us to work hard and come back again, watching it live! =)

灿烂罗马，我来了！！！

今天是欧洲之旅的第六天。回旅馆的路途中，暮色下特别地想念他和她们。这六天来一至都想如果象这次的旅行有他们相随一起分享，那会是个我这未毕业负资产贪心的愿望吗？无论如何，爸妈和姐都希望我能安心愉快地享受，我也没烦没恼开心渡过了六天，算是2012前的一份贵重礼物吧!

现在老张，我们和蔼谦虚的导游播着一首他女儿弹钢琴的歌，也是我最爱的 River Flows In You。

虽然是个六小时从威尼斯到罗马的车程，我却觉得是一种平凡的享受，间单的福份!明天将到Angels and Demons 里收悉的梵蒂冈，和忠锦敏志报名参加比赛的斗兽场里参观了！！！ 期待期待。。。

罗马, 我來了！！！