Please come to my dream again

It is the 86th day since papa left us. Another weekend we'll be heading back to Kuantan for his 100th day. Time flies, "is almost 3 month since papa left us", sis suddenly said while she's ironing her clothe while I concentrating on my freelance. We had a silent moment, assuming she will think that I was occupied and ignored her conversation.

There are lots of memories flashing in my mind while talking over the phone with my mom. As she is busy preparing for the 100th day, she told me stories and stuff that she bought for my dad. My cousin chose some nice clothes, my mom bought some pants, a LV bag, napkins, socks, money... and a lot more. She's good at conversation by digging memories, and she sounds alright. Lucky with her cheerful nature, she makes me feel pleasant with the sweet memories of what my dad like, without flashing back the heart breaking memory of last day accompanying my dad in the hospital. For the first two months after he left, it hurts me so much to always miss him in a tiny and aching soul laying in the ward, as I know I will never be able to feel how much he's been enduring. Somehow the night I went back home last two week, I dreamt him coming home with a van. I ran towards him to the door like what I did always when he came back working in the jungles for weeks, and I can feel him hugging me so tight. Blissful moment, which now and then this happy scene will appear every time I miss him. I know he always take care of us even though he is not around, he know I'm suffering from the terrible moment of losing him that night in the hospital, and that's why he came to my dream. Thank you so much, I miss you, and I love you, Papa~ =")

永远爱你

我依然嬉皮笑脸，我依然勤奋工作，依然上网玩面子书，依然过着和平日没差的生活。。。
如果你听见，我只想告诉你我们都很好，适应着你的离开。。。

如果你到了天国，遇见佛祖，就跟随他去吧，听说那里是脱离痛苦尘埃的极乐，你到那就不会痛了。即使我们万般不舍得你离开，我们也惟有放手，实在没别办法再看见你被折腾。所以不用牵挂我们，会好好照顾妈，好好照顾我们自己。万一有哪天你经过家门看见谁偷偷在被里哭，不要担心也不要牵挂，只因你曾经是他们敬爱的守护者，也会是永远深爱的男人。爸，你安息吧！永远爱你~