It is the 86th day since papa left us. Another weekend we'll be heading back to Kuantan for his 100th day. Time flies, "is almost 3 month since papa left us", sis suddenly said while she's ironing her clothe while I concentrating on my freelance. We had a silent moment, assuming she will think that I was occupied and ignored her conversation.
There are lots of memories flashing in my mind while talking over the phone with my mom. As she is busy preparing for the 100th day, she told me stories and stuff that she bought for my dad. My cousin chose some nice clothes, my mom bought some pants, a LV bag, napkins, socks, money... and a lot more. She's good at conversation by digging memories, and she sounds alright. Lucky with her cheerful nature, she makes me feel pleasant with the sweet memories of what my dad like, without flashing back the heart breaking memory of last day accompanying my dad in the hospital. For the first two months after he left, it hurts me so much to always miss him in a tiny and aching soul laying in the ward, as I know I will never be able to feel how much he's been enduring. Somehow the night I went back home last two week, I dreamt him coming home with a van. I ran towards him to the door like what I did always when he came back working in the jungles for weeks, and I can feel him hugging me so tight. Blissful moment, which now and then this happy scene will appear every time I miss him. I know he always take care of us even though he is not around, he know I'm suffering from the terrible moment of losing him that night in the hospital, and that's why he came to my dream. Thank you so much, I miss you, and I love you, Papa~ =")
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